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Evil Tiger, Real Estate and Regaining a Legacy
By CJ Moore
Sep
02
2010
Article first published as Evil Tiger, Real Estate and Regaining a Legacy on Technorati.
Tiger Woods is moving into a new Florida neighborhood (mailboxes beware) and has a new Manhattan apartment, two signs that he’s about to regain his form on the golf course.
According to TMZ, Woods took out a $54.5 million loan for his new Florida mansion that will be paid off by 2016. If only everyone could pay off a mortgage in six years… goodbye housing crisis.
This news comes days after US Weekly reported Woods moved into a downtown Manhattan apartment.
So does this mean Woods is gearing up for life as a single man?
Tiger fans should ho
pe so. My theory is that Woods doesn’t need to hire a swing coach; the man just needs to return to the free-swinging lifestyle that made him the greatest golfer in the world.
Have you ever tried golfing while you’re stressed out about something else – particularly the woman (or in Wood’s case, women) in your life? Granted, the weekend warriors most of us tee up with every weekend are to golf what Tiger is to monogamy, but I’ve seen what drama can do to a golf game.
My buddies play much better when they’re successfully single (having no trouble with the ladies) than when they’re single and slumping. The single and slumping hook, slice, chunk, curse like Bob Saget and throwing clubs is built into their backswing. As for the married folk, they’re fine if their eyes are only wandering and they’re not trying to pull a Tiger.
Woods is most likely forcibly slumping right now. He went to sex rehab and he’s keeping the ladies a driver’s distance away in an effort to save his image. He could be doing the exact opposite, because just like he thought he could get away with it before, he might think he can get away with it again.
But if that was the case, he would probably be winning again. Instead, he has played in 10 tournaments since his return and he has yet to win, he’s missed one cut, withdrawn after the third round of the Player’s Championship and finished below 20th six times. The more tournaments he goes without winning, the more his legacy (more important than image) goes down the drain.
Woods has three options if he wants to get back on top, and a swing coach and devoting himself to golf again have nothing to do with either.
Option 1: Find himself a trustworthy and low-profile girlfriend and keep the relationship low-key for a while.
Option 2: Find a temporary fill-in with a low IQ who agrees to keep their relationship out of the press and have her sign a fake contract that says she cannot tell the press about their relationship.
Option 3: Forget about your image and go back to the strolling for ladies at every dogleg.
Option 1 is best for his image. Option 2 is a temporary fix. Option 3 is best for his golf game.
This would clear his head and he could just play golf, because he wouldn't be stressing about not getting any loving – just like everyone else, he needs love (or lust) – and he would once again always have something to look forward to outside of winning golf tournaments.
Woods needs to embrace Evil Tiger. Evil Tiger was the greatest golfer in the world. Evil Tiger was invincible. Evil Tiger stood over the ball and knew it was going in the freaking hole. Evil Tiger knew he could get any girl and win any tournament he wanted.
These recent real estate moves could be a sign Woods is leaning towards returning to Evil Tiger. He now has two bachelor pads and will not have to worry about keeping everything out of the press because of his marriage – unless he wants to try to regain his choir boy image, which is a lost cause. He might as well return to Evil Tiger and not try to hide it like he did before.
Evil Tiger might not be able to regain all his sponsorships, but he’ll regain his legacy and be the envy of most every man out there (even if they won’t admit it).
Tiger Woods is moving into a new Florida neighborhood (mailboxes beware) and has a new Manhattan apartment, two signs that he’s about to regain his form on the golf course.
According to TMZ, Woods took out a $54.5 million loan for his new Florida mansion that will be paid off by 2016. If only everyone could pay off a mortgage in six years… goodbye housing crisis.
This news comes days after US Weekly reported Woods moved into a downtown Manhattan apartment.
So does this mean Woods is gearing up for life as a single man?
Tiger fans should ho
pe so. My theory is that Woods doesn’t need to hire a swing coach; the man just needs to return to the free-swinging lifestyle that made him the greatest golfer in the world.Have you ever tried golfing while you’re stressed out about something else – particularly the woman (or in Wood’s case, women) in your life? Granted, the weekend warriors most of us tee up with every weekend are to golf what Tiger is to monogamy, but I’ve seen what drama can do to a golf game.
My buddies play much better when they’re successfully single (having no trouble with the ladies) than when they’re single and slumping. The single and slumping hook, slice, chunk, curse like Bob Saget and throwing clubs is built into their backswing. As for the married folk, they’re fine if their eyes are only wandering and they’re not trying to pull a Tiger.
Woods is most likely forcibly slumping right now. He went to sex rehab and he’s keeping the ladies a driver’s distance away in an effort to save his image. He could be doing the exact opposite, because just like he thought he could get away with it before, he might think he can get away with it again.
But if that was the case, he would probably be winning again. Instead, he has played in 10 tournaments since his return and he has yet to win, he’s missed one cut, withdrawn after the third round of the Player’s Championship and finished below 20th six times. The more tournaments he goes without winning, the more his legacy (more important than image) goes down the drain.
Woods has three options if he wants to get back on top, and a swing coach and devoting himself to golf again have nothing to do with either.
Option 1: Find himself a trustworthy and low-profile girlfriend and keep the relationship low-key for a while.
Option 2: Find a temporary fill-in with a low IQ who agrees to keep their relationship out of the press and have her sign a fake contract that says she cannot tell the press about their relationship.
Option 3: Forget about your image and go back to the strolling for ladies at every dogleg.
Option 1 is best for his image. Option 2 is a temporary fix. Option 3 is best for his golf game.
This would clear his head and he could just play golf, because he wouldn't be stressing about not getting any loving – just like everyone else, he needs love (or lust) – and he would once again always have something to look forward to outside of winning golf tournaments.
Woods needs to embrace Evil Tiger. Evil Tiger was the greatest golfer in the world. Evil Tiger was invincible. Evil Tiger stood over the ball and knew it was going in the freaking hole. Evil Tiger knew he could get any girl and win any tournament he wanted.
These recent real estate moves could be a sign Woods is leaning towards returning to Evil Tiger. He now has two bachelor pads and will not have to worry about keeping everything out of the press because of his marriage – unless he wants to try to regain his choir boy image, which is a lost cause. He might as well return to Evil Tiger and not try to hide it like he did before.
Evil Tiger might not be able to regain all his sponsorships, but he’ll regain his legacy and be the envy of most every man out there (even if they won’t admit it).
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